The Pretty Lady & Two monks
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were travelling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There they found a pretty lady stuck at the damaged bridge who couldn't cross the river on her own. The young monk offered to carry the pretty lady across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The old monk was shocked by the move of the young monk. "How can big disciple brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet.
The young monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they had crossed the river, the young monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.All along the way for several miles, the old monk was very unhappy with the act of the young monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about the young monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the young monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the old monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the younger monk.
"How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite."
The young monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"
This very old Chinese zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate and make us angry. Sometimes, they even cause us lot of hurt or make us bitter. But like the old monk, we are not willing to let them go away.
We keep on carrying the baggage of the "unpleasant memory" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why?
Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go the baggage of the "unpleasant memory/feelings" . We should let it go immediately after the unpleasant event is over. This will help in removing the agony.
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1.A good listener has to exercise mental discipline over himself. Only if you concentrate properly can you be a good listener.
2.If you are attending a meeting, talk or lecture see to it that you arrive early so that you can settle yourself physically and compose yourself mentally before the speeches start.
3.Do not allow yourself to be distracted by noises or other things like a pretty girl or handsome boy entering the room or the perfume of your neighbor. Do not distract the speaker yourself.
4.Find an area of interest and listen for ideas.
5.Avoid thinking too much about a point that has just been made by the speaker as this will prevent you from paying attention to the next. You can take notes and think about the matter later. Try to understand first, evaluate later.
6.Keep on open mind and be patient.
7.if you find that an informal talk or discussion has been going on for a very long time then do not hesitate to suggest a break so that the participants may refresh themselves and be able to concentrate better after the break.
8.Avoid listening to several people at the same time. If your telephone rings in the middle of an important conversation do not interrupt the conversation but request the telephoning party to ring you up later.
9.Show interest in the person who is talking to you by looking at him and by either nodding your head or by short encouraging A friendly and patient attitude helps you to get a real insight into the thoughts and feelings of the speaker. You could also restate the speaker’s feelings briefly.
10.Do not contradict openly with words like “ I think you are wrong” as this discourages the speaker or forces him to use false insincere arguments.
11.Listen to the feelings of the speaker and not only to his words.
12.Make sure that there are no emotional barriers on your own side which prevent you from listening attentively. Do not interrupt, unless it is absolutely necessary. Do not be in a hurry to talk.
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How to be a Leader?
Leadership is not a gift, it’s a self developed skill by an individual. We all adhere about leadership qualities but we overlook from how to become a leader. I just conceive the idea behind how to be a leader by pointing out some key qualities.
1. Self DevelopmentDeveloping yourself is very important in most of the aspect because people should follow you.The four simple steps of self development is
• Evaluate
• Analyze
• Share
• Decide
Evaluate yourself on most of the parameters by making a sheet on a regular basis and analyze it. So you can know yourself where you stand and where you want to be. Set a short term and long term goal for yourself. Sharing is very important; you can share your evaluation with a mentor which is very necessary for you to know yourself. And last take decision for yourself what to do next. This will also help you to make yourself decisive.
2. People must listenWhen you have developed yourself you can start sharing your knowledge and ideas to your collogues, your words must carry silent but revolutionizing message for them. Once people start listening you at that instant you start developing a skill of becoming a leader. People should beseech you for solutions for their problems. For example you might have seen people in seminars or workshops. How people listen to them so attentively that is a sign for leadership.
3. Putting you firstImplementing the skills and good qualities on you first, so people may look upon you as a good example to follow. Last line before being anything, be a good human, give importance to human values and stick to your basics.
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Body Language
Eye contact is the most obvious way you communicate. When you are looking at the other person, you show interest. When you fail to make eye contact, you give the impression that the other person is of no importance. Maintain eye contact about 50% of the time in order to look interested, but not aggressive. Facial _expression is another form of non-verbal communication. A smile sends a positive message and is appropriate in all but a life and death situation. Smiling adds warmth and an aura of confidence. Others will be more receptive if you remember to check your _expression.
Your mouth gives clues, too, and not just when you are speaking. Mouth movements, such as pursing your lips or twisting them to one side, can indicate that you are thinking about what you are hearing or that you are holding something back.
The position of your head speaks to people. Keeping your head straight, which is not the same as keeping your head on straight, will make you appear self-assured and authoritative. People will take you seriously. Tilt your head to one side if you want to come across as friendly and open.
How receptive you are is suggested by where you place your arms. Arms crossed or folded over your chest say that you have shut other people out and have no interest in them or what they are saying. This position can also say, "I don't agree with you." You might just be cold, but unless you shiver at the same time, the person in front of you may get the wrong message.
How you use your arms can help or hurt your image as well. Waving them about may show enthusiasm to some, but others see this gesture as one of uncertainty and immaturity. The best place for your arms is by your side. You will look confident and relaxed. If this is hard for you, do what you always do when you want to get better at something - practice. After a while, it will feel natural.
The angle of your body gives an indication to others about what's going through your head. Leaning in says, "Tell me more." Leaning away signals you've heard enough. Adding a nod of your head is another way to affirm that you are listening.
Posture is just as important as your grandmother always said it was. Sit or stand erect if you want to be seen as alert and enthusiastic. When you slump in your chair or lean on the wall, you look tired. No one wants to do business with someone who has no energy.
Control your hands by paying attention to where they are. In the business world, particularly when you deal with people from other cultures, your hands need to be seen. That would mean you should keep them out of your pockets and you should resist the urge to put them under the table or behind your back. Having your hands anywhere above the neck, fidgeting with your hair or rubbing your face, is unprofessional.
Legs talk, too. A lot of movement indicates nervousness. How and where you cross them tells others how you feel. The preferred positions for the polished professional are feet flat on the floor or legs crossed at the ankles. The least professional and most offensive position is resting one leg or ankle on top of your other knee. Some people call this the "Figure Four." It can make you look arrogant.
The distance you keep from others is crucial if you want to establish good rapport. Standing too close or "in someone's face" will mark you as pushy. Positioning yourself too far away will make you seem standoffish. Neither is what you want so find the happy medium. Most importantly, do what makes the other person feel comfortable. If the person with whom you are speaking keeps backing away from you, stop. Either that person needs space or you need a breath mint.
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Managing ChangeThe Internet, mergers and acquisitions, and a highly competitive and growing business landscape have changed the structures of many businesses. Companies that succeed and survive in today's marketplace must anticipate change, adapt and thrive.
But change - whether it relates to management structure, fast growth or radical changes in your industry - can be difficult to manage, especially when your employees don't have a clear understanding of what's going on or how it affects them. To help employees through any transition, you'll need to take a proactive role in managing and communicating change to your staff.
1. Be up front with employees.Make sure that employees first learn about changes from leaders rather than through the grapevine. If your employees hear rumors around the water cooler about restructuring, spin-offs, or new products, or read speculation in the local business media, your job of communicating change will be much more difficult. After all, resisting change is natural - it's human nature to avoid the unknown and maintain familiar work patterns. Overcome this resistance by talking to your employees before rumors begin to fly.
2. Involve key communicators.While having the CEO speak to the entire staff in a company-wide meeting sounds like a good idea, he or she may not be able to share enough detail to satisfy employee questions at all levels. Let your company's front-line supervisors address each of their employees and answer their questions. Giving employees the high-level vision and the hands-on detail will help them better understand and accept potentially upsetting news.
3. Create an effective message.Consider the specific informational needs of executives, middle managers, supervisors and employees, and tailor your message to fit each audience. Often companies communicate only what's happening at the corporate level and neglect the things that are really important to employees, such as how the change affects their future.
Remember, employees don't think about the company the way executives do. They want to know about things that you may find unimportant, such as how future plans will affect their personal work area. Whoever communicates change to employees needs to understand their concerns.
An effective message should also explain how your employees' day-to-day duties directly impact the company's performance and should touch on the values and pride of the employees. A direct, face-to-face interaction can help reinforce positive attitudes, inspire employees and help them adapt to the change.
4. Listen to your employees.Employee feedback is critical in managing change. Holding focus groups with employees is a great way to gauge reaction and monitor the progress of change. You also can encourage employees to provide feedback through email or the company intranet. This shows them that you care and provides a forum for employees to share their thoughts (by name or anonymously) , which is hard for some employees to do in person.
Communication is the cornerstone to successful change management. Talking to your employees is not a one-time event, and you need to reinforce your message by communicating early and often.
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The Manager and The LeaderGood management is essentially the use of one's common sense. It flows from one's accumulated wisdom and experience. The old model of management through command and control has given way to leading through inspiration, motivation and self-example.
This new model of leadership respects the human potentials and considers human resources as the greatest assets.
The real art of management is to attract, retain and motivate individuals, recognizing their intrinsic differences and life styles and assist and make possible in every way the achievement of the corporate and employee goals. In doing this, the leader influences his subordinates and shows them ways to lead themselves.
The manager today has to be a leader. He has to become a role model for others and practice what he preaches. He should be aware of his own self, his potentials and explore ways to manage himself and his talents effectively before trying to manage others.
Self-management is the key to successful leadership. The leader should identify his own strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats and get control over his moods and develop his competencies at the right opportunity.
It is said that a good leader is a guy who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. He does not believe in coercion and punishments but offers freedom to others to innovate and make mistakes. This freedom gives his subordinates confidence and competency.
He delights in changes instead of resisting and challenging changes and new ideas. In fact the ideal leadership is to fall in love with change.
Today's manager to be a leader has to be a learner. Pretending to know everything is a dangerous thing. In a rapidly changing world, only those who look for the opportunities to learn will thrive. He has to be a learner first if he wants to train and develop his subordinates.
A leader is a visionary. He has a clear vision of where he is going, communicates this vision to others and inspires them to achieve this vision. This vision is based on the current reality and resources. The visionary leader has two important characteristics: first he is going somewhere; second, he is able to persuade others to go with him.
The leader thinks positively of his followers. He looks at what is possible rather than the constraints. He believes that people can change and become better. His greatness comes through his ability to develop greatness in others.
He also has a good humour which helps him to keep things in perspective when they don't go according to plan. He is a manager of good cheer. He smiles even when things go wrong to create confidence in his people.
Good performance is the result of good leadership not the blind use of best assets. This is the fruit of excellent relationships. The leader is a builder not a one-man demolition squad. He trusts his people and builds excellent personal and professional relationship with them. He is free and frank in communication and informal in relationships. He leads as a team, not as a loner. He is a friend and guide not a dictator and tyrant.
Finally, the managerial leadership can be summarized as an __expression of one's faith. The 10 strands of one's leadership faith are given below.
I believe that:
People are the most important asset for my organisation;
People will perform if I give them freedom;
The rule of my management is teamwork;
A team with a desire for performance is a winning team;
The responsibility for performance lies with me;
Performance is not beyond my reach'I can motivate others to give their best;
The subordinate is the first;
I must create value for him and then for me;
Every problem has a solution, but people are not problems;
My management practice must be based on my spirituality and faith.
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Positive Mental AttitudeA strong positive mental attitude creates more miracles than any other things because life is 10% how you make it and 90% how you take it..........
And at the same time, we should not use Positive Mental Attitude to give excuses for our failures. With Strong Positive Mental Attitude, we should go ahead and strive for the success.
Paradigms are the main source to our attitude and we can check our paradigms in various situations to evaluate our positive mental attitude.
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Conquering StressA lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water? "
Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, 'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"
This is reminding you that even for super-achievers, you get more out of life when you learn to balance it. So as you are gearing up for your achievements , never forget to step back, take a deep breath and relax a bit. Leave the stress behind, and the next day you will move even further ahead because you have conquered stress, rather than letting it conquer you.
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Good Management Is Predictive Management Not Reactive ManagementGood Management Is Predictive Management Not Reactive Management Many managers believe that their job is to resolve problems that arise. While that is true, it is only the lesser part of the job. More importantly, a manager's job is to prevent problems. This is the difference between reactive management, which solves problems as they occur, and predictive management, which tries to prevent many problems from arising in the first place. Reactive Management Reactive management deals with problems as they come up. It is a management style that is much admired for its ability to quickly get the resources back into production, whether those resources are machines or people. If you are good at reactive management, you are:
> Decisive and able to act quickly,
> Able to find the root cause of events,
> Creative and able to develop many solutions,
> Innovative and able to find new ways to solve problems, and
> Calm and in control in the midst of a "crisis".Someone who is good at reactive management is able to remain calm, quickly analyze the problem, and find its root cause.
Rather than getting lost in the symptoms, they are able to think up many possible solutions, some proven and some new, and select the best choice. They are equally quick at implementing the solution to resolve the problem. A reactive management style clearly is a desirable skill set for a manager to have. By quickly solving problems they are able to get the people and/or machine quickly back to work and productive again. However, it's not the best style. Managers should concentrate on improving their ability in predictive management as well. Predictive Management Predictive management focuses on reducing the number of problems that require reactive management. The more problems that can be prevented through predictive management, the fewer problems will need to be solved through reactive management. If you are good at predictive management, you are:
> Thoughtful and analytic,
> Not likely to go chasing after the current panic,
> More aware of the important than the merely urgent issues,
> Able to identify patterns in data and patterns of failures,
> More focused on "why" did something go wrong, rather than "what" can be done to fix it, and
> Able to keep the big picture in mind when working through the details.
Someone who is good at predictive management is sufficiently detached that they can identify the conditions that lead to certain problems and can implement procedures to reduce or eliminate the problems. Rather than being concerned about the immediate problem, they are able to relate current conditions to earlier information and predict when problems might arise. A predictive management style is an important ability for a manager to have. The more problems that can be prevented through predictive management, the fewer resources will need to be spent on reacting to problems that have arisen. Predictive management does not replace reactive management, but it reduces the need for it. Getting Better At Predictive Management How does a manager get better at predictive management? The best way is practice. Focus some time every day on predictive management and on developing the skills listed above. Here's an example of practicing the predictive management behaviors so you can get better at it.
> Schedule a meeting with yourself so you can block out a half hour of time. [li[Close your door. Set your phone on do-not-disturb. Turn off your cell phone and pager.
> Pick the problem that has been the biggest headache for your organization. Then allow yourself to just think about it.
> When did it happen most recently?
> What caused it?
> What warnings or indicators did we have before it happened?
> What did we do to fix it?
> What could we have done to prevent it?
> What can I do now to reduce the chances of it happening again?
> Start monitoring the warning signs you noted above.
> When those signs next appear, apply the previous solution before the problem gets big. Evaluate the results and adjust as needed.
The more you practice predictive management the better you will be at it. You will still need your ability in reactive management, but just not as much. Your resources will be used more on getting things done than on fixing problems and you'll have more time to think about and prevent more problems from arising.
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